Diddy Opens Private School for Girls

Sean “Love” Combs, also known as Diddy, also known as Puff Daddy, and also known as P. Diddy, recently inaugurated his private girls’ school in Harlem, New York.

“I guess I can go by Daddy now to these girls,” Combs proclaimed in a Reel uploaded to his official Instagram account. He addressed concerns about student security by showing the media the extensive CCTV network he had installed throughout the school, including in bathrooms and locker rooms. Additionally, the school cafeteria has been renovated with high-security cabinets labeled “Special Snacks.”

When asked about the network of underground tunnels and series of trap doors throughout the complex, Combs responded by singing lyrics from his hit single “I Need a Girl.”

Members of the Harlem Renaissance community expressed their concerns to the media regarding Combs’ insistence on employing an all-male staff at the school.